Monday, May 30, 2005

police discolights

My latest curiosities:

Could we have explored space without Einstein's theories? Or was the relativity theory essential for humans to get off the planet?

What is the deal with the growth of secularism, science and technology and the continued reliance on religion? I need a complete history of humans and their beliefs in metaphysical entities cause it all just boggles my brain.

Why do some people insist that only cold water should be added to a pot for purposes of boiling - doesn't it make more sense to put in the hotest water possible? Do these people think it is more efficient to fill ice cube trays with hot water before putting them in the freezer?

Saturday, May 28, 2005


I spent the evening answering bizarre questions for an internship application. These placements are in Malawi, Lesotho and Uzbekistan. Wouldn't it be weird if the first time I left North America was to go to Uzbekistan? Mental mind-fuck, for sure.

I want to sew. I have the most gorgeous fabrics, and a wonderful sewing machine and yet I spend my time wandering around accomplishing nothing. I have so much potential and creativity and yet the days roll on and I feel useless. I am my own worst enemy. I have been obsessing about the weirdest shit lately - totally unproductive.

Last night I tried Halva for the first time and I was impressed! It was good! Sweet pistachio goodness!

I think humans are really funny animals. I was on the street corner about an hour ago - at 1 am - holding a bunch of Eucalyptus branches and waiting for the dog to finish sniffing around and across the street were two people. One was a woman in a wheelchair and her hairdo was crazyness - she looks strung out. The man with her was all rasta-styled and it appeared as though something like a vaccuum cleaner was strung to his back. Beside them were two white garbage bags. They were not talking.

I thought about how odd we all are - how our activities sort of made little sense (except the dog, sniffing for whiffs and leaving her urine scent behind). Why did I collect the eucalyptus branches that were piled by the curb? (Well, to be honest, I want to see if I can make things with them) Who were these weird people standing there across the street? What motivates any of us to do anything? (aside from basic instincts)...

Humans and leisure time allow for absolute weirdness.

Now onto complete bullshit!! Julian, my missing friend that I wrote about, will not be back. My worst fears were realized: suicide. At least he has the peace of oblivion now...a long eternal sleep that will not inflict any suffering.

I met him within days of moving out here to the West Coast and lately I have been spooked that I will have to move away. His departure resonates really weird with me.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Between the click of the light and the start of a dream...

Happy Birthday, Queen Victoria! You know, I always thought of all places in Canada, this great town of Victoria would whoop it up hard-core on this day. But no. Nothing. Not even fireworks!!! The Great Lakes region sets off fireworks this weekend, but I guess this is the manifestation of regionalism in this great Federal nation.

Yesterday I met a plethora of complete idiots (the good type) who put my friends and I to shame. I thought my friends were whacked-out unconventional humans. After yesterday, I am second-guessing this. So it was some dude's 30th birthday and through friends of friends I ended up on a lake just outside of town getting trashed with a bunch of hooligans. Most ended up in costume and my personal fave was this guy dressed up as a middle-aged woman at an office Christmas party in the 1980s. Unfortunately my digital camera was not working so I have no evidence.

Today I ran 2.5 km straight which is awesome for me. I also found out that a friend has been missing for 8 days and a missing person's report has been filed. That really spooks me. I have some job leads finally so my fingers are crossed that I will soon either be employed or be sent on an internship.

I wish I did not battle with depression. Times like this are really tough for my brain and my heart. I really wish I could be a stronger person for those that care about me. Sorry guys. I am trying.

but there are others who do knot feel this strong even... i wish i could help.. this impotence is intolerable.... i send my love and strength...

Friday, May 20, 2005

Me and Donna plotting the take-over.

Yesterday I received the nicest treat! My best friend Beth called me all the way from Bolivia! I have never spoken to anyone who is south of the Equator before. It was sooo nice to hear her voice. She has been gone for over a month now (usually she lives about 14 hrs north from me by car) and lately I have felt like I have been falling apart at the seams so it was so super-duper special to speak to my sistah!!!

Last night was great. I went out after 36 hours without sleeping and not much chow in my stomach for some drinks with Donna. Coming home on our bikes we were stopped by cops and luckily Donna shut me up when they asked for my driver's license and I started to bitch and question what right they have to ask me. We each faced over 400 bucks in fines but charmed our way to safety.

I rented the complete first season of the Ali G show - so this Victoria Day weekend will be about job and internship applications, interspersed with hilarious comedy. May go to a party at some lake on Sunday.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Baby all I need is a shot in the arm...

the liberals won the BC election but lost tons of seats! Here is how the number of seats changed:

Before Lib: 77 NDP: 2
Now Lib:46 NDP:33

Also, the referendum for the "STV" won 57% support, just short of the 60% necessary to have it as the new electoral system. Boo! Hissssss!

my apathy is eating at me. i must complete tasks. my dreams are awful and my days bleed into eachother. the only rountine responsibility is to walk my dog.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Here are some wonderful graphic interpretations of Expo '86. I actually had the Archie comic below - I fear I may have sold it to a friend one summer in a box of Archie comics as a kid. I actually still know this guy - I should ask him what he ever did with the box of comics. Maybe he'll give it back. Anyhow, coming to Expo was the first time that I was on an airplane - good ol' Wardair (now very post-rigor mortis). That was also the only time I ever swam in the Pacific in Canada. Now I live a block from a great beach and it is just waaaay too cold for me.
Today is the provincial election and yet I feel quite removed from it all which is funny.
The flag man today lowering the flag at the Legislature almost warped it up in the lines. I watched and wondered if flag people need special training certificates or something. Either way, flags are a funny concept.

There is this great guy on my street who switches the flag out front his house all the time. Sometime depending on world events, sometimes in reference to traditional celebrations and the rest of the time I think he just puts up whatever he feels like. I should start documenting it and then maybe attempt an analysis.
Now that I think of it, the first time I ever lived alone, my landlord would switch the flag on top of my place very often. I lived in this old converted carriage house (garage of the old days?) adjacent to a gorgeous old greystone on Carré St. Louis in Montreal. The landlord lived in the main house with his very very old father and between the big house and my appartment was a great courtyard full of flowers and waterfountains. Anyhow, the flag. The flag changed all the time and it never made any sense. It was always bizzarre. Yet I never asked the landlord what his philosophy was.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

What do you folks think?