Thursday, March 31, 2005

Screenshots for Snafu

Screenshots for Snafu this is my pornography

Saturday, March 19, 2005

after all the time we shared

it is wet and cozy in victoria - good for the plants and worms! maybe it is all the pressure to be academically productive, or the anxiety i have about graduating, or the fact i am listeing to the arcade fire, from montréal, but whatever it is, i am feeling sad and nostalgic. i have lived in victoria for almost 3 years now and have been unable to meet/maintain as many cool friends as i had in toronto and then in montreal. not that there are not cool folks here. a big reason is the fact that i have been so fucked in the head for the majority of this law degree. depression sucks, man. i should have just taken some time off and fixed my brain chemistry and cognitive patterns. oh well. i persevered, ended up with shitty marks and little social relations.

better luck next time, bitch!

but there is no next time?

i am feeling happy because the jobs that i am eligible for are all pretty damn cool and interesting! too bad i have gotten no job offers yet (well, sort of...).

i will start a collection of rejection letters. they are all on cool letterhead.

i miss you all, even you strangers that i will never meet (especially you guys, actually).

i am gonna head upstairs and look for old self-marketing-turds that i can use for internship applications. i need to make a cup of coffee and pump some good music up really loud so that i can hear it in the loft.

Friday, March 04, 2005

This is Mike Dunphy and it has been just over a year since his tragic death. He died last year on the leap year (Feb 29, 2004) after a ridiculous encounter with the Toronto police. I met Mike in 1997 at FuseFest - a cottage party in a rural region of Ontario. He was with two friends and they made pancakes and shared them with everyone in this cyclical manner - each person take a bite of the pancake and passes it on, until the food is gone.
I exchanged numbers with him and we hung out quite a bit in Toronto as our mothers lived near one another.
Mike was such a gentle creature: he liked to drink green tea, watch documentaries and build geodesic domes. I can still smell him - it is so weird to think he is not roaming this planet anymore.
It sucked that I was living out here in Victoria when he died; I have found that it is VERY comforting and healthy to be around others who knew an individual when that person passes on. In secular Canada, we don't have many traditions and ceremonies, and I find that ceremonies such as wakes and funerals really are helpful in terms of accepting reality and making sense of the loss. So it was bullshit being out here - not knowing anyone else who was mourning him. When I was in Toronto over this last Christmas break I kept seeing his name and number in my phone book and thinking "you know, aside from a few emails, I have no confirmation that this guy is no longer alive!" It just seems so surreal still.
Anyhow, I do not mean for this posting to be sad. Instead, I am hoping to just comment on how much I still think about this kind soul and miss him. The year has passed so quickly! It is weird to think about how we have completed a whole solar rotation since he left existence.