yesterday i trotted around Toronto, my nation's largest city, distributing letters of recommendation to seven different potential employers. it took me five hours. no joke. and four of the seven were within walking distance.

the traffic and parking issues are hilarious. even more funny are the corporate skyscrapers i had to deal with. i kept thinking about patrick bateman running wild through the monolithic lobbies in American Psycho - that flick was filmed here and i swear i was on the movie set although how would i know as they all sort of seem the same.

applying to jobs in buildings that have the stock ticker thing broacast in every elevator? am i delusional?

it is rainy and hot and dark. i am waiting for laundry to finish its cycle. staye up til sunrise again but this time on the phone with the family - more bizarre bullshit involving porn, alcohol, anger, law enforcement, and above all TRAGEDY.

have been to cemetaries twice this week. thursday we buried the ashes of jean above her parents' remains as the thunderous darkness rolled in. went bowling and kicked ass afterwards. yesterday i tracked down the graves of my grandfather's family, hoping to uncover the birth year of my great-grandfather, from whom i inherited my last name. i went searching there before with erin but there were way too many graves and we had no direction. this time i had plot numbers and maps and sadly, joe mcdermott was not laid to rest there. just his wife, daughter, and parents-in-law. i said hi to my great-great-grandparents though....born in the 1850s...now i have a bit more info for my genetic research fascination shindigs.