Friday, July 01, 2005

Happy 138th!

So today is my nation's National Holiday - in 1867 Canada became a nation! And what a silly constitution we have inherited! So here is a retarded collage about things that I love most about Canada...

MAPLE PULLS!!!! (tirés d'érable!) these rock my helva - the west coast sucks for not having this stuff... basically it is maple syrup boiled down into a thick syrup and then you pour it over snow and let it harden a bit and then you wrap it around a popsicle stick and you have to eat it quick before it melts all down your arm!

The Charter of Rights and law school experience has imbued me with a deep respect for this constitutional bill of rights. Canada as I know it and love it would not exist if Trudeau had not whipped this up in 1982. I just wish there had been at least ONE drafter with a vagina! Oh well....

Neil Young!!!!
I love your music, you ugly beast.

Niagara Falls - if only they were preserved in their natural setting!

Labrador Retrievers! And Bonhomme - the mascot of the Carnival du Québec - what a silly dude!

Oh yeah. Our currency is wicked awesome as well!

Now what sucks about Canada?

Genocidal actions and policies with respect to the First Nations
The climate (cold sucks ass)
Regional alienation and resentment towards Ontario
Lack of commitment to Kyoto Protocol
Animal welfare laws are sick and out-dated
Bilingual education is not mandatory across the country
Marijuana still is not legal
Lenient criminal sentencing (drunk drivers need harsher punishments!)
Subsidies to the meat industry
Shitty environmental protection legislation
Preventative detention bullshit
Migrant workers (what the fuck??)

Okay I am heading down to Harbourfront Centre to whoop it up with hilarious Torontotonians and to see some live music.... please add your ideas about what you cherish and loathe to the list!


Blogger Turd Burglar said...

Things I love:
Patientce, Love and Flowers!

Things I hate:

our inferiority complex, and our superiority complex

8:25 PM  
Blogger sashi said...

Given that I (disclaimer: I am not Canadian) have been reading, in the recent days, material on Canadian history - this after finishing Ondaatje's brilliant historical novel "In the Skin of a Lion" that chronicled immigrant lives in early 20th century Toronto - especially all those dirty little racist (immigration) laws & tricks vis-a-vis 'those who are not like us or don't look like us', i.e., non-whites, I hope things are a little different than that in Canada in a 'flat world', starting with the attitudes that the certain natives (who descended from people who were from elsewhere too!) may have.

Other than that Happy 138th to y'all!

8:42 PM  

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